yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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