I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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