we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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