also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
