I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
