I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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