Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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