i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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