you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
