We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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