And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
