I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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