is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
