just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
