Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
