Yo dont text me then not text me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize