Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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