...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
