singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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