idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize