Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
