Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
