We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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