i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
