you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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