Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
