My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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