my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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