So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
