my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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