Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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