I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
