I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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