Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize