i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
