please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
