it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
