He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
