You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
