Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
