i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
