I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
