We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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