I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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