we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
