So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
