Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
