Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
