you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
