it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im holly from the hills drunk
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
