hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize