that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
