I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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