Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
