Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
