Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
