What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
