Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
