THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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