sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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