I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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