this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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