At least make sure they are 18
Why
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
